Author: queenofkingmeans

“A child’s imagination is a very beautiful thing”

#thisismylife 😳 my children having a ‘snowball fight’ in the middle of the house while it’s pouring down raining outside…in November 🤦🏾‍♀️ gotta love them 😂😂

Is this what I buy school paper for?! But did y’all see that flip?! 😂😂 #lovethesekids #imaginationisabeautifulthing when it rains it snows or whatever that saying is 😝

“Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable” ~Regina Brett

This Sunday morning started off like many others, the kids waking up late morning after staying up late the night before requesting pancakes for breakfast. “No” I said for the fourth time, “I am not making pancakes this morning. I don’t feel like the hassle, there’s plenty of cereal in the cabinet. Besides it’s almost lunch time and I have a taste for avocado grilled cheese.” Levin says, “mom I can make them, all I have to do is follow the recipe in my Nate the Great book, he has the perfect pancake recipe and it comes with instructions.” I should have known better right then….however, I had promised him we would make the famous Nate the Great pancakes weeks before.  See, as a second grader, Levin had outgrown most of the books on his shelf and he needed new books he could take AR (accelerated reading) tests on for school, (he’s reading on a 3^rd grade level)!  I ordered him a box full of new books and the Nate the Great series was included. I loved the Nate the Great books and I figured he too would enjoy the mysteries and the act of becoming the detective.  From the instant he read the first book and saw that recipe he was on me like white on rice to make those pancakes. I’m actually quite surprised I made it this long….3 weeks before having to finally give in and make them, I had run out of excuses, so reluctantly I gave in. So now back to this recipe…it was horrible y’all 🤦🏾‍♀️ 🤣 We followed the recipe exactly (that was our first mistake!)…what we first ended up with looked like water, chalky water 😳. Levin said “Come on mom, give it a chance, let’s just try it” So we did,  I poured a bit of the batter onto the griddle and we watched it run almost all the way to the other side of the griddle until it got hot enough to harden and stick. So I added more flour and more sugar, still loose, added more flour and more sugar until finally we had the consistency of semi-real pancake mix. For an added touch we put in some brown sugar. I knew something had to go in them to make them taste like something other than flour and water! 🤣

Let me just say they weren’t the best pancakes we’ve ever had but we can probably chalk them up as being the worst!  The kids enjoyed it though, you could taste a little hint of brown sugar and butter in all of that flour. And they ate them up…just like that, as I looked amazed at the almost tasteless, flat as paper pancakes. His final words were “Well once you put syrup on them you can’t even tell the difference!” His sister, on the other hand, didn’t seem so convinced! 🤣

So glad this is over…the little things that make them happy and even for the worst pancake we’ve ever had, I wouldn’t trade this experience for the world! 

Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets. ~ Matthew 7:12 KJV

A friend of mine shared some images on FB of a surprise date night his wife (also my friend, thanks sis for the idea!!) planned for him.  As soon as I saw it my gears went to grinding and I knew immediately it would be something I would do for my own husband.  From the image with my post of course you can see the final surprise but for kicks and giggles let me set the scene….lights out, candles lit, dinner prepared and table set; a hot bath with calming essentials oils ready and waiting, while a massage table, neatly made, stood by and rose petals decorated the floor. From the pics my friend posted, most would have thought that it was a night that he planned for his wife (so typical right?), but if no one has ever told you before let me be the first…the men in our lives deserve to be pampered too.  They may not ask for it, they may not ever mention it even, but I know for certain they definitely appreciate it, just as much as we do.  Truth be told, in the Means’ household, Queen Means is normally on the receiving end of the act of massages and hot baths ran lol what can I say?!  I love them, and I get them often, sometimes I have to ask and sometimes I don’t but either way I get them every chance I can. And when I take the time to think about it, that’s just crazy considering, as the trucker, he is the one who drives a 35,000 pound truck (and that’s when the trailer is empty), sleeps in an uncomfortable twin-size bunk, and is away from home, sometimes 6-8 weeks at a time. But just like clockwork, when he comes home, I am ready and waiting with massage oil and heating pads…for myself 🤦🏾‍♀️😅 sad but true! (don’t judge me, you don’t know my life LMBO😝)!!  So this year for our anniversary I set the scene above. I had to be strategic in my plan so I could keep the finale a surprise. I cooked a meal of his choice; we ate dinner together. I then ran him a nice hot bath, set the scene, and pampered him!  It was a win-win for both of us!  The whole time he soaked in his bath, he talked about how his shoulders ache from day to day as he drives the truck.  He does this mile after mile, day after day, making pick-ups and deliveries so we can live our lives without interruption.  Oh how I smiled to myself just thinking of what was in store for him on the other side of our bedroom door that he had no clue about ☺️. It felt great to see his face when he walked into that room. It was even funny because he thought I had set it all up for myself…now why would he think a thing like that🤔?! (and without question he was ready to do what he does, massage me)! But once I told him it was all for him, the look on his face will always be unforgettable.  I felt so pleased and proud with myself in that moment☺️. He does so much for our family, the regular things that people will say is his responsibility as a man, husband, and father; but so much more than that. He goes above and beyond to make sure that we have all that we need AND want. He creates memories and experiences for our family that will last a lifetime.  He supports me and my dreams and is my biggest fan.  He never asks for anything in return (just getting him to say one thing he wants for his birthday is like pulling teeth🤦🏾‍♀️), and he will do just about anything for anybody. So in that moment, even though it was OUR anniversary, it meant the world to me to do something for him that he would have never even thought to ask for, for himself. Ladies if you have a good man at home, a real partner in this thing called love and life, treat and pamper him sometimes.  He doesn’t need to have to ask for it, he may not even know how much he enjoys and needs it until you just do it for him.  I can definitely call this a DATE NIGHT DONE RIGHT, ANNIVERSARY STYLE! Cheers to 8 years and forever to go!!

Ok so it’s been a minute…more like 1,956,960 minutes (3 years and 7 months)…yes I actually did the math smh BUT those minutes have been spent developing and working on my best self…well most of it anyway.  When I started this blog back in 2015 I thought, oh this will be cute…look at me, the mother of four, talking about my exciting life as the truckers wife.  Well life has a way of throwing you lemons instead of apples, prunes instead of oranges and rocks instead of flowers…you get the point.  However, it’s what you do with them that makes the difference and let me just say I didn’t manage what I was thrown very well at all…smh again (not at first anyway).

The saying ‘if it ain’t broke don’t fix it’ can sometimes be the furthest thing from the truth.  From the outside everything seemed to be just fine, nothing seemed to be broken, my marriage seemed to be working, the kids seemed to be doing well, and I seemed to be happy. Boy was I wrong…it was ALL broken and without even realizing it I almost lost it all.  I won’t bore you with the details but let’s just say my marriage tanked, my relationship with my oldest child hit rock bottom and I was basically just existing, going through the day to day motions of life and raising the two kids who were too young to even notice the changes. (I have to say we did work really hard to make sure of that).  At first, I was devastated, didn’t know what to do, where to turn, who to talk to. I had no desire to blog and tell about my life…most of the time I had no clue how I felt, more less than to be trying to tell someone all about it. But God puts people in your life just in time for when you need them. They seem to know exactly what’s going on without you even having to say a word. They can offer words of encouragement, support, and overall care and concern, whether they know it or not.  So once I got over the devastation I went into action!

One thing I’ve learned in all of this is that God will allow certain things to happen for numerous reasons. Sometimes it’s growth, sometimes it’s patience, and other times it’s to get you to see the ‘who and what’ that you need or don’t need in your life.  In all of that muck I found myself…the ME outside of my marriage and my kids, I changed the negative mindset that had been causing me so much pain for so long, I developed a strong sense of confidence in myself that I had never had before and it felt great!  Once that mission was complete, I made it my business to get my Trucker back. I learned that he wasn’t bad for me, he was actually the best thing to ever happen to me, I just didn’t know how to treat it (him or our marriage) because I had never had it before and really didn’t know what it looked or felt like to have someone love you more than themself, to have someone to make decisions that were not only good for him but for the family and most importantly for ME! I started a business, he started his own trucking company (although he was not yet driving under his own authority yet) and I felt renewed, refreshed and BLESSED!

So here we are today, 1,956,960 minutes later and I am happy to announce that I got back all that I thought I lost and more!!  My marriage is back on track and better than ever, our businesses are both growing and doing well, my oldest child and I are developing our once sour relationship, still not the greatest but definitely a work in progress and guess what yall I’M HAPPY!! Now that is not saying that we don’t disagree or argue or have periods of non-speaking moments, but what it does say is we are better communicators now, I listen to hear and not just to respond, he gives me the opportunity to speak my mind instead of toning me out, I say what’s on my mind when it’s relevant and not six months later when something else random happens and I’ve let go of so much baggage that was keeping me from loving properly and being properly loved.  Let’s just say this has been my life as the truckers wife!  I’m excited to be back on track and can’t wait to share all of the things we have been up to just this year alone. Stay tuned!

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