Hey I said hey!!!! So as always it’s been awhile. It’s crazy how your intention can be to post once a week and then life happens and you realize you are legit posting once a… More
Date Night Done Right…Anniversary Style
Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets. ~ Matthew 7:12 KJV
A friend of mine shared some images on FB of a surprise date night his wife (also my friend, thanks sis for the idea!!) planned for him. As soon as I saw it my gears went to grinding and I knew immediately it would be something I would do for my own husband. From the image with my post of course you can see the final surprise but for kicks and giggles let me set the scene….lights out, candles lit, dinner prepared and table set; a hot bath with calming essentials oils ready and waiting, while a massage table, neatly made, stood by and rose petals decorated the floor. From the pics my friend posted, most would have thought that it was a night that he planned for his wife (so typical right?), but if no one has ever told you before let me be the first…the men in our lives deserve to be pampered too. They may not ask for it, they may not ever mention it even, but I know for certain they definitely appreciate it, just as much as we do. Truth be told, in the Means’ household, Queen Means is normally on the receiving end of the act of massages and hot baths ran lol what can I say?! I love them, and I get them often, sometimes I have to ask and sometimes I don’t but either way I get them every chance I can. And when I take the time to think about it, that’s just crazy considering, as the trucker, he is the one who drives a 35,000 pound truck (and that’s when the trailer is empty), sleeps in an uncomfortable twin-size bunk, and is away from home, sometimes 6-8 weeks at a time. But just like clockwork, when he comes home, I am ready and waiting with massage oil and heating pads…for myself 🤦🏾♀️😅 sad but true! (don’t judge me, you don’t know my life LMBO😝)!! So this year for our anniversary I set the scene above. I had to be strategic in my plan so I could keep the finale a surprise. I cooked a meal of his choice; we ate dinner together. I then ran him a nice hot bath, set the scene, and pampered him! It was a win-win for both of us! The whole time he soaked in his bath, he talked about how his shoulders ache from day to day as he drives the truck. He does this mile after mile, day after day, making pick-ups and deliveries so we can live our lives without interruption. Oh how I smiled to myself just thinking of what was in store for him on the other side of our bedroom door that he had no clue about ☺️. It felt great to see his face when he walked into that room. It was even funny because he thought I had set it all up for myself…now why would he think a thing like that🤔?! (and without question he was ready to do what he does, massage me)! But once I told him it was all for him, the look on his face will always be unforgettable. I felt so pleased and proud with myself in that moment☺️. He does so much for our family, the regular things that people will say is his responsibility as a man, husband, and father; but so much more than that. He goes above and beyond to make sure that we have all that we need AND want. He creates memories and experiences for our family that will last a lifetime. He supports me and my dreams and is my biggest fan. He never asks for anything in return (just getting him to say one thing he wants for his birthday is like pulling teeth🤦🏾♀️), and he will do just about anything for anybody. So in that moment, even though it was OUR anniversary, it meant the world to me to do something for him that he would have never even thought to ask for, for himself. Ladies if you have a good man at home, a real partner in this thing called love and life, treat and pamper him sometimes. He doesn’t need to have to ask for it, he may not even know how much he enjoys and needs it until you just do it for him. I can definitely call this a DATE NIGHT DONE RIGHT, ANNIVERSARY STYLE! Cheers to 8 years and forever to go!!
1,956,960 Minutes
Ok so it’s been a minute…more like 1,956,960 minutes (3 years and 7 months)…yes I actually did the math smh BUT those minutes have been spent developing and working on my best self…well most of it anyway. When I started this blog back in 2015 I thought, oh this will be cute…look at me, the mother of four, talking about my exciting life as the truckers wife. Well life has a way of throwing you lemons instead of apples, prunes instead of oranges and rocks instead of flowers…you get the point. However, it’s what you do with them that makes the difference and let me just say I didn’t manage what I was thrown very well at all…smh again (not at first anyway).
The saying ‘if it ain’t broke don’t fix it’ can sometimes be the furthest thing from the truth. From the outside everything seemed to be just fine, nothing seemed to be broken, my marriage seemed to be working, the kids seemed to be doing well, and I seemed to be happy. Boy was I wrong…it was ALL broken and without even realizing it I almost lost it all. I won’t bore you with the details but let’s just say my marriage tanked, my relationship with my oldest child hit rock bottom and I was basically just existing, going through the day to day motions of life and raising the two kids who were too young to even notice the changes. (I have to say we did work really hard to make sure of that). At first, I was devastated, didn’t know what to do, where to turn, who to talk to. I had no desire to blog and tell about my life…most of the time I had no clue how I felt, more less than to be trying to tell someone all about it. But God puts people in your life just in time for when you need them. They seem to know exactly what’s going on without you even having to say a word. They can offer words of encouragement, support, and overall care and concern, whether they know it or not. So once I got over the devastation I went into action!
One thing I’ve learned in all of this is that God will allow certain things to happen for numerous reasons. Sometimes it’s growth, sometimes it’s patience, and other times it’s to get you to see the ‘who and what’ that you need or don’t need in your life. In all of that muck I found myself…the ME outside of my marriage and my kids, I changed the negative mindset that had been causing me so much pain for so long, I developed a strong sense of confidence in myself that I had never had before and it felt great! Once that mission was complete, I made it my business to get my Trucker back. I learned that he wasn’t bad for me, he was actually the best thing to ever happen to me, I just didn’t know how to treat it (him or our marriage) because I had never had it before and really didn’t know what it looked or felt like to have someone love you more than themself, to have someone to make decisions that were not only good for him but for the family and most importantly for ME! I started a business, he started his own trucking company (although he was not yet driving under his own authority yet) and I felt renewed, refreshed and BLESSED!
So here we are today, 1,956,960 minutes later and I am happy to announce that I got back all that I thought I lost and more!! My marriage is back on track and better than ever, our businesses are both growing and doing well, my oldest child and I are developing our once sour relationship, still not the greatest but definitely a work in progress and guess what yall I’M HAPPY!! Now that is not saying that we don’t disagree or argue or have periods of non-speaking moments, but what it does say is we are better communicators now, I listen to hear and not just to respond, he gives me the opportunity to speak my mind instead of toning me out, I say what’s on my mind when it’s relevant and not six months later when something else random happens and I’ve let go of so much baggage that was keeping me from loving properly and being properly loved. Let’s just say this has been my life as the truckers wife! I’m excited to be back on track and can’t wait to share all of the things we have been up to just this year alone. Stay tuned!
Hello World….I’m Korri!!
A baby makes love stronger, the days shorter, the nights longer, savings smaller, BUT a home happier. ~ Unknown
Hey followers….I said HEEEEYYYY!!! Okay so I know you haven’t heard from me in awhile, but trust me when I say I have had a lot going on!! Shortly after we lost our little angel, we found out we were expecting again!! I literally spent the whole year pregnant….and fat….and uncomfortable…and sweaty in my creases (maybe that’s too much information but I know at least four people out there know exactly what I’m speaking of lol) but when I met my little eight pound porky piglet (who the doctor assured me was only 6.5 due to marginal cord insertion) I instantly fell in love! So now that I’ve sugar coated my last twelve months let me tell you how it’s really been! First, I was sick the first 15 weeks. This is coming from someone who loves to eat, someone whose trucker husband secretly calls “hungry eyes”, someone who is an active member in the fattyforlife club lol. This made me hungry and angry at the same time….hangry!! Then, as my luck would have it, I was diagnosed with my first ever ear infection (in both ears) and sinus infection…who does that to a mommy?! After finally regaining the ability to eat, she blessed me with heartburn and acid reflux for most of the day. Zantac and Priolosec were my only friends!! They were who I talked to on the phone, went to dinner with, and slept with at night! By the time I reached my sixth month of pregnancy, I had developed a cramp in each butt cheek which caused a slight misstep when I walked!! Now that was a sight…especially from the back!! Let me just tell y’all I was miserable!! By the time seven months rolled around I was planning her early eviction. Anything I could do to get her out of there at 37 weeks (as the doctors are saying “you’re going to carry full term, you went full term with your other two pregnancies and typically the first one sets the tone). Trucker Means said “leave her alone, let her live up her time in the baby spa” (in his heavy Baltimore drawl) as I’m looking at him with the stare of death thinking that’s easy for you to say….not to mention, if you have him tell it, he experienced every uncomfortable feeling I did “we were going thru this together”….WHATEVER DUDE…rolls eyes!! But God is good and answers all prayers! Wouldn’t you know, at 35 weeks the transition began! It all started with high blood pressure lol Don’t get me wrong, high blood pressure is nothing to play with, I’m merely saying that everything happens for a reason and my blood pressure being just a smidge elevated for 3 appointments in a row, less than days apart, was all part of God’s plan. I was induced at 37 weeks and 2 days (yassss my eviction plan worked!!) and gave birth to a healthy baby girl, 8 pounds even, 18 and a quarter long…short and fatt! I thanked God over and over again. First, she was healthy and we were both alive. Second, don’t y’all know if I had carried that baby full term she would have been 10 pounds all while the doctors and their “tests” are saying she won’t be over 6.5!! God is good all the time and all the time God is GOOD y’all!!! We brought our little piglet into the world before Thanksgiving and mommy was able to enjoy all the turkey day food!! So without further ado, I would like to introduce to you Korri Renae!! While this may sound like a rant, she is a joy to have, her brothers (especially the little one) and her sister are in love with her, and I wouldn’t change any of it for fear she wouldn’t be so perfect! She has now made the MEANS’ family complete!!
Have You Thanked A Truck Driver Today?!
Quote: Lots of people can be drivers but only few can be Truckers
Most people do not realize just how important truck drivers are. Often times when we don’t see the process our daily luxuries go through, we tend to take them for granted. What may seem like simple every day pleasures like filling up our gas tanks, filling up our shopping carts at the supermarket, obtaining necessary medications, or even hitting the big early bird sale are available to us because of the job of truckers. Not only are they working hard to get much needed and desired items delivered on time, they are missing valuable time with family and friends, holidays and special moments that can’t be recreated. Ever wonder what it would be like if the trucks just stopped; if all of the 3.5 million professional truck drivers in the United States just decided to stop driving?! Life as we know it would stop, that’s what would happen!! Within the first 24 hours hospitals would run out of supplies, mail and package delivery would stop, and gas stations would begin to get low on fuel, just to name a few. By the end of four weeks time we would have exhausted our clean water supply and would have to resort to boiling water before even consider drinking it. Without even thinking about the logistics, we just expect for all of our simple pleasures to just keep on being available. None of this would be possible without our nations’ truck drivers. Sunday September 11, 2016, a very memorable day in American history 15 years ago, popped off National Truck Driver Appreciation Week. With all the turmoil going on from the attacks in New York, Pennsylvania, and at the Pentagon, can you imagine how much worse it would have been if truckers had been unable to deliver much needed supplies to the cities and surrounding areas? I cringe just to think about it. So this week as you’re going about your daily tasks: shopping at the supermarket, filling up your gas tank, having date night at a local restaurant with your significant other, take the time out to thank a trucker because without them could we survive? Until next time, thanks for following!!
But Mommy I Want to be a YO!
Quote: Anyone can be cool, but being a YO, that takes practice. ~JNM
“But Mommy I want to be a YO”. This is all I have been hearing from my then two year old. No matter what I told him to do his response was “but Mommy I want to be a YO”. Now of course I had no idea what he was talking about. Asked him several times what he was talking about and he would never give me an understandable explanation so safe to say this went on for weeks. Finally, one night, we were leaving our cousins house and as we got into the car and commenced to drive away my little monster was fast at work, taking his coat off, pulling his pants leg up and raising up his shirt sleeve. He had also taken off his hat. I turned to him as we are approaching a stop sign and I said “Fatt what are doing?! It’s cold outside, put your coat back on, pull you pants leg down, what in the world are you doing?! He responded “but Mommy I want to be a YO!!” Okay I had had enough! I put the car in park and with my hands outstretched and the look of confusion on my face I said loudly “FATT what does that mean, what are you talking about, help me to understand what is happening, WHO IS A YO, WHAT IN THE WORLD IS A YO??!!!” And as calmly as he could with a look on his face that said ‘duh dummy’ he responded “MA, brother, uncle CJ, Clevon, Daddy, Jay…they all yo’s mommy and I want to be a yo too, is that okay with you?!” (Meanwhile his hands are now outstretched like lady don’t you get it!!). That’s when it all became clear to me and all I could do was laugh. See what I didn’t think about was as we were getting in the car, I observed two of our younger male cousins, my oldest son, and my brother standing on the porch. One didn’t have on a coat (mind you it was winter), one had on jogging pants, and for whatever strange reason in the middle of winter, his pants legs were pulled up, the other two had on baseball cap type hats turned backwards. So as soon as he got in the car he proceeded to transform into a YO. He has spent so much time around the men in our family and they are all so active with him that he desired to be just like them. He hears them talk to each other and they often address each other as YO. So in his mind if he was a YO too he would fit right in with them! At that point all I could do was thank God that the men in my family are positive young men with bright presents and even brighter futures. The behaviors he picked up from them could have been a lot worse if they had been bad boys doing all sorts of inappropriate things around him. Now that we know what it means, the little monster has slowly turned being a YO into a lifestyle! He has a YO dance, he has YO clothes, YO shoes, and when he falls down and doesn’t cry he is a Big YO!! I am so happy to have such a smart little kid and even more blessed that he picks up the good things from the good people I surround him with. Mommies watch what you say and do around your little ones because even when you don’t think they’re paying attention TRUST ME, they’re listening!! Until next time, thanks for following!!
And This Too Shall Pass
Title: And This Too Shall Pass
Quote: Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. ~Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV
I’m BAAACCKKK!! Ok, I know I’ve been gone for a minute but there’s been a lot going on in this trucker wife’s life! I want to reach you in this post about something a little more serious than normal. See my trucker and I found out something we had been waiting three years to hear….we were expecting another little monster!! Excitement was in the air! I was so excited, I just couldn’t hide it and well before I should have, I started telling anyone who would listen! But shortly before the nine week mark, God had other plans and our little jelly bean went on to become an angel over us for eternity. I wasn’t angry or confused or depressed even but I was so heartbroken. To make matters worse, Trucker was on the road and was states away when I found out the news. But even with all of that being said, surprisingly to most, I had a very quick turnaround. See I am one of many who believes that everything happens for a reason. I am one who stands firm on the belief that God has my best interest at heart and if he didn’t think it was right for me then who am I to tell Him different! I quickly came to make my mind feel like my heart because even in my brokenness my heart knew that God makes no mistakes. I know that I was blessed that it happened early on rather than later, before any movements started, before any heart beats were heard. I know that I was blessed that it happened early on rather than carrying full term and one of us not making it home from the hospital. See I happen to know and believe in the favor God has over my life and that right there is something that is so much more important to be excited about! I didn’t write this post for pity or sympathy…trust me guys, I’m GOOD! So I’m sorry if this post made you feel emotional in any kind of way, if it happened to bring a tear to your eye but I think it is important for you to know that you should trust God in all things; that in all things give thanks. It can heal more than you think. Until next time, thanks for reading!!
Lot Lizards Need Love Too
Photo Courtesy of www.pinterest.com
Quote: We accept the love we think we deserve ~Stephen Chbosky
Happy Valentine’s Day to all the lovers, non-lovers, believers and haters!! As I continue this journey of being a trucker’s wife, I learn something new every day and Valentine’s Day, or Love Day as I like to call it, is no exception. On this day every year, millions are spent on flowers, chocolates, jewelry, teddy bears, and many more items that most people ignore throughout the rest of the year. This is also a very popular day for sex workers, who peruse the streets offering their services to the “less love fortunate”. There is a very distinct name for this type around the truck stop, the Lot Lizard. For those of you who don’t know, a Lot Lizard is a lady (or gentleman) who roams the truck stops at night “crawling” from truck to truck soliciting for money for sexual acts, drugs, or both. Lot lizards will make themselves known by knocking on the door or window of a truck and offering their services to the driver who happens to open the door or roll down the window. Now as funny as this may sound, please know, this is a real thing! And not only is it real, it’s dangerous on so many levels. A lot of the women are diseased, on drugs, and will steal anything that is not tied down if they are let into the truck…and let’s not forget to mention it’s illegal! So ladies and gentlemen as you celebrate your loved one on this national love day, make sure that you are not only going all out on Valentine’s Day but you are also giving them all of the love and attention they deserve EVERYDAY so as not to fall prey to the “Lot Lizard”…..because Lot Lizards need love too….just not from my trucker!!
The Things You Do For Those You Love
Quote: Do small things with great love ~Unknown
Let me first start by saying Congratulations to the Carolina Panthers for an awesome season!! Now that Super Bowl is over and all the talk about Cam Newton and Beyonce’ almost falling is starting to quiet down let’s move on to my truckers wife life as it pertains to Super Bowl. For the most part, people will do anything, within reason, for the person(s) they love and my trucker is no exception. So while everyone was happily attending Super Bowl parties and cheering on the Panthers from in front of the TV screen, my trucker was busy working and delivering all of those products that were sold out due to so many Super Bowl parties! When he had a chance to stop, while his truck was being unloaded, he gave me a FaceTime call. Now me, being the super cheesy wife that I am, was excited, as usual, to be able to see his face, however, this call went a little different than I expected. I answered his FaceTme call with an excited “Hey Babe”! His response was “ok I need you to turn that camera around facing the TV and point it towards the game”! This was my face
Photo Courtesy of www.123rf.com
As my mind said “really dude!!” But despite what I was thinking, I found a way to prop up the iPad so he could watch the game! I said all of that to say this: in any relationship, whether it’s your husband, boyfriend, best friend, mom, aunt, or cousin, it’s the little things that define how you really feel about someone. The care that you take with the small things has a very good indication of your heart and how you really feel. Do small things with great love so when it’s time for the big things, it will all be natural. Until next time, thanks for visiting!!
A Star Is Born
Feelings change, memories don’t ~Joel Alexander
The Christmas and New Year holidays are a special time for many families and while I am so late on this post, I thought it was very important to share with you the star that was born on our Christmas Day. As usual The Means’ house is a busy place and Christmas week was no exception but what emerged on December 25, 2015 was unknown and definitely never imagined. This post is probably going to be one of the shortest ever that you will read as the video needs no introduction or description. I encourage you to watch the video in its entirety, it’s a short 1 minute 22 second clip with sound, but I promise you won’t regret it! From our house to yours, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Married Single Mommy
Quote: I Didn’t Get Married to be a Single Parent ~Delise Denham
‘This single parent thing is for the birds…been there, done that….didn’t know I was going to be doing THIS again’….YES, all of these thoughts have crossed my mind several times over the last eight months since Trucker Means has been on the road. Having three kids, although two of them were on their way out the door, the idea of having to “do it alone” made my stomach hurt. But needless to say, I pulled it together, put my big girl panties on and put in the work. That leads me to my next adventure….Picture this, three kids, who I refer to as “my cuties pies and my sweet thing”: two are 18, a boy and a girl, and the youngest is 2, a bouncy busy boy,…(and yea I said 2, don’t judge me and if one more person ask me ‘what was I thinking, I’m going to lose it’!!), on a road trip without Daddy. I know you’re thinking, well two of them are grown….You are so wrong!! When I say these kids work my nerves! So I head out with the two brothers in tow to pick up their sister from her army base. First of all, it took us four and a half hours for a trip that was ‘supposed to be’ three and half. The boys fussed all the way there as usual, about the normal things: who was going to eat the most candy, whose mommy I was, and who was going to have to take a nap; the little one seems to think he is the father in this family composition. The GPS is actually giving us the right directions directly to her duty station while the workers on the base made us check in to give the wrong directions and all the while the little monster in the back is giving his own directions on where to go because he is ready to see his sister…or maybe he has to pee but either way….
Several things happened on this trip that made me pray in silence:
· I drove for 2.5 hours on a back road with two lanes doing 45 mph.
· I purchased gas for $1.69
· My oldest son, did a pretend seize and capture when we pulled up to the gate to get his sister. It sounded real in his mind and out loud, but no real action was actually taken…
· My daughter sang her rendition of Reunited by Peaches and Herb after fleeing the army base.
· My youngest, the little monster, did an excitement dance for his sister, giving a show to the entire front line crew at Chic Fil A, earning himself the name Dance Machine.
· My daughter side stepped in the line at Chic Fil A because she was having flash backs of basic training habits while repeating out loud “I will always keep my heels together”!!
· My son paid for lunch!!
· My daughter paid for gas!!
· My 2 year old told the cashier he was 21 years old.
And even after all of this, the day was not complete without the little monster losing his ears. He said he couldn’t go to sleep without them. I don’t even know what that means for real, but I do know that he found them in about ten minutes, when he was fast asleep and snoring loudly for the remainder of the ride! So while this seemed like a pretty hectic trip….I prayed all the way there and back and several times asked for mercy and forgiveness, but Lord knows I love my life as the trucker’s wife!
Life of the Truckers Wife 